You’ve most likely heard “Follow your gut” “Listen to your intuition” but how many of us can actually say when it comes the time, we take action on that gut feeling or intuition? I wanted to share a personal story with you today that has really been a learning experience and boosted my confidence in really listening to my intuition and most importantly highlighted the fact that I was listening but not acting.
When my son was born I felt like my life was perfect. The love that I felt was overwhelming, everything was complete. I remember even calling my mom and saying this is amazing, everything is perfect BUT I’m scared something is about to happen and I won’t be able to keep ahold of this. This moment in time was a new experience for me especially after having a baby, as I have fought postpartum depression and anxiety with my two previous children right after delivery.
And then it happened.
When Cody turned 1 month old everything changed. It was like a switch had been flipped and my perfect moment was gone. He would no longer go to sleep, he would scream anytime he was awake. He constantly wanted to nurse and I quickly would become so touched out that I started to fall into my ppd/ppa cycle. I would tell the Dr. the changes that I was seeing. He was constantly spitting up, he no longer wanted to sleep, constantly crying like I was peeling his toes nails off, that I could hear sounds that reminded me of reflux and that he was really really gassy. This Dr. would write me off. Told me I was making stuff up, it was all in my head, all babies are like this and all babies have reflux. Every single visit my intuition was undermined and my instincts to cope and help my son were bashed.
Things were getting worse so I took matters somewhat into my own hands.
I would use massage when I could, my son didn’t like being massaged at the time so it was very limited. (I know – I totally take it personal that MY son didn’t like MY massage!!) I started using essential oils and I also did an elimination diet – I took out milk, eggs, took out a lot of caffeine and decreased some other things. As he grew older I would try different kinds of milk, nothing. The oils helped me cope better and helped him with what I’m pretty sure now was a comfort and definitely sleep. Oh, how I love to sleep.
The final straw was when his Dr. told me that only “health nuts” really cared that much about what their kids ate. That there was no way that Cody could be intolerant to milk and that my brother, at his age, could not be allergic to milk unless we were related to a family in the Netherlands. After that appointment that day I found a new Dr. I made him an apt for a week or two after and I really liked her. However, I was really second guessing myself when she would ask me how Cody was. At this point, I was accepting that maybe it was just my son’s personality to be cranky all the time. Maybe it was my fault because I was anxious and that’s why he was always hating life. Yeah, that definitely had to be it because the few times he would stay with someone else they would always say that he was an angel and didn’t cry at all. He would also usually stop crying if I held him. So it couldn’t be that he was in pain right? I second, third and even fourth guessed myself. It was just all in my head, this is just my son and his personality.
So about a year after finding the new Dr. I made his first sick baby appointment and well I had a breakdown in the office while I was talking about everything that was going on. I was almost 3 years into dealing with a baby cry Every. Single. Day. I felt like I was broken a long time ago. I told her everything, all symptoms, when they started, what they were up to now, and what I had felt that they were.
You know what happened?
She listened. She didn’t scold me, accuse me of making my son a brat, or tell me that I was making anything up. She told me that I sounded like I was just “Done” and that while it could be a reason sometimes that my son may act up, that we should get some tests done and get the opinion of specialists.
You know what we found out?
Cody is allergic or intolerant to:
Gluten, eggs, peanuts, wheat, walnuts, cow’s milk, soybeans, scallops, sesame seeds, hazelnuts, cashew nuts, almonds, corn.
Oak, elm, Australian pine, Bermuda grass, timothy grass, bahiagrass, common ragweed, rough pig-weed, sheep sorrel, and nettle.
His immunoglobulin e levels were 941 – a normal range is 93.
Ok so my first look at this list and I had 2 thoughts –
“I’m such a horrible mother, I knew something was up and now I know I’ve been pretty much poisoning him since birth” and “Are you freaking kidding me – what the heck can he even eat?!?!”
No wonder my elimination diet didn’t work, I didn’t take out gluten which is his highest allergy/ sensitivity. A normal range is <2, his is 104.0. I also didn’t take out nuts and when I was switching his milk no wonder it didn’t have an effect I was giving him soy milk, cashew milk, almond milk and had just landed 2 weeks before this test on rice milk – which I noticed he wasn’t spitting up after he drank it.
After the test, we went to see an allergist.
Now this apt is after I have had my “Listen to your intuition” confidence boost. She told me that the blood tests aren’t what you use for food allergies – but she agrees they work for environmental. So she did a food allergy prick tests and they all came up negative for allergy. Which is why I used allergy/sensitivity in my verbiage earlier – we still aren’t sure. From the research I’ve done there seems to be a disagreement in the medical field about which test is “Accurate” when it comes to the allergy test for food. The allergist told me to see the GI Dr. and this was also a referral from our new pediatrician. She also stated that I will just have to keep a journal and watch his reactions. Not taking everything out of his diet at one time to take them out one by one and record them in the journal.
Now I had already been a week with taking everything out by the time we had this appointment and holy moly the difference in his “personality” has changed soooooooo much. He is still a 2.5-year-old with a determined personality but the constant screaming has improved so very much. Instead of putting him back on everything and taking 1 thing out at a time. My husband and I decided to keep it like it is and then add one thing back at a time. Our goal this year anyways was to get everyone on a non-processed, cooked from scratch diet anyways. So this whole situation can actually be looked at in a positive way to get our butts on the wagon faster!
Here’s the deal – Follow your intuition.
Give yourself permission to ACT on that intuition. Everyone has it and it alone can guide you on how to help yourself, your children and others. If something doesn’t FEEL right to you – give yourself permission not to do it.
Your intuition is a quiet – emotionless – voice that can keep you on your path in life. It will never make you feel anything negative like guilt, shame or anger. It also won’t tell you that you HAVE to do this or….. Following your intuition – while it might feel silly, irrational or uncomfortable – will never feel “Bad.” Even if you are in a life and death situation acting on your intuition will not make you feel negative. You can use it as a tool if you listen.
You know a lot more than you think you do. So trust yourself. Use your Intuition.
We as a society have been taught not to follow our intuition, so when you start to try and listen to it you may find it is hard to differentiate intuition between your ego or fears. As you start to practice you will find that it becomes easier. Just remember to listen to how you FEEL.
If I would have stepped up and listened to how I felt and what I just KNEW – It wouldn’t have taken us almost 3 years to find out what was going on. So if you find yourself in a situation where someone is dismissing your intuition – go get a second opinion or a third. Keep acting on your intuition and you will find someone.